Updated: Aug 26
Sometimes I just suddenly get upset or scared about the future etc. Or just sad in general and will want to sleep all day so I can hopefully wake up feeling happier. Afterwards I usually can figure out why I was upset, sometimes it was just for no reason.
Not knowing why I'm sad is weird. Some days I wake up and I just feel down. Everything feels like a hassle and I can't bring myself to do the housework etc. which only serves to make me annoyed at myself for not being able to do simple things, and it spirals. Eventually, I find things to be sad about, as if to justify it, or something. It's a hard thing to snap out of.
This random sadness is worse in the winter months, and I think it’s down to SAD. It’s so counter-productive; it’s awful having goals and deadlines and no motivation to do normal things that are required to live, let alone anything big like writing a book or building a business.
It’s not just about the lack of sunshine/light, though, it’s down to diet as well. I tend to eat more rubbish food because of the SAD, on the days when I haven’t even managed to get dressed, I’ll just grab a takeout, and it becomes a vicious cycle. I think I’ve managed to break the cycle this year though – it’s been about 3 weeks now, and I’ve cooked proper food every night, had proper lunches and no snacks in between or after meals. It feels more expensive to eat meat with vegetables every night, but it’s not as bad as we were before – buying quick to cook things, and then throwing them away because they went out of date because we had a take-out instead.
I’ve also managed to balance housework and work quite well too, which is a first, I think. I’m feeling a lot better because of all of this. And it wasn’t a New Year’s resolution, it just happened around the same time, naturally.